plz talk dirty to me
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize