i'm signing you up for texting rehab
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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