God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
