Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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