umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize