My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
