Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
