We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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