i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
