The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
PANTIES FOUND
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