was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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