people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
