If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
