Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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