he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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