Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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