Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
