but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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