DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
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My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
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he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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