i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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