BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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