Me. At least after what I've been through.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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