Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
