You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You need Xanax blowdarts
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
