The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I am naked and annoyed.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
