either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
handjob tips. give me some.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
