I hate your face
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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