My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
My first STD was from a foam party
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
