Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize