I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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