Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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