I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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