Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
She needs sedatives and a leash
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
