I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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