worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
