Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
The beer is more important than you right now.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Just invented taco cereal.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
