You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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