i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
