Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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