You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize