I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
