i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Randomize
