Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
