I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
