hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
