If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
