Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize