It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
