So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
