i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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