just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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