He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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