Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
