Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
