I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
