it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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