The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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