She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
