so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Randomize
