She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
